Forgive the ADHD nature of this post. There have been a few things I’ve wanted to post and I’m just going to chatter on a bit.
I know this may be an unpopular admission, but I don’t really care about the olympics. I don’t enjoy watching sports. I love playing them, but watching is meh. However despite my lukewarm opinion of the olympics, you can’t ignore the media attention even if you don’t have cable. Starting a few months ago, there started to be articles about how “fat” some women swimmers are.
Australian Swimmer– She won the silver in London!
American Swimmer – She won the bronze in London!
So here we have two world-class athletes being criticized for being fat. Spending one hour doing laps burns almost 1000 calories. These girls train and practice as a profession. Then you have the male swimmers who are all trim with definition. I feel like the stark contrast between the body types of the athletes should really serve as a reminder that many women are not meant to be as thin as our ideals have begun to dictate.
I mentioned in my first blog entry that my desire to lose weight was completely driven by vanity. Despite that I get so angry at the ridiculous standards set for women. Overweight women have the highest unemployment rate in the country. I can tell you first hand that there is a huge difference in how I was treated at 260lbs and how I am treated now. When you are past a certain point of heavy you aren’t treated like a person anymore. It seems the last vestige of childhood cruelty is reserved for the overweight. In England a few years ago a woman on the subway was beaten just for being overweight. There are articles, ads, and a general way of thinking that if you were just thinner you would be happy. I in fact know a few girls that have lost massive amounts of weight, some through gastric bypass surgery, some through lifestyle changes, who will state plainly that they didn’t start living until they lost the weight. To that I say, bullshit. I don’t doubt they feel that way, but I am angry that they do. I haven’t spent a single day of my life being anything but over weight. That has not stopped me from being happy, or having a tremendous life so far. I am finishing up my PhD in biophysical-chem. I am getting married to an amazing man. I am an athlete. I have traveled fairly extensively. I have great friends, and I think I’m lovely as do most people who meet me. My weight doesn’t preclude me from any of that.
I am not blaming heavy people for feeling this way. They are part of a horrible societal way of thinking. I recognize I am complicit in this because no matter how wrong I know it is, I still want to lose weight because I think I’ll be happier with my body if I do. I am angry at myself because I should know better. Until our way of thinking changes, mine included, things aren’t going to change much.
On a less self-righteous note, I got a hair cut today. It looks nice. I also worked far too late tonight. I did however accomplish a great deal. I didn’t get home until after ten so dinner became carrots and hummus.
As soon as I have time to cook a real meal, I’ll post more recipes. I am going to Canada from Friday to Monday, so it won’t be this week. I was going to talk about a conversation I had this morning with a friend. It was generally about how we think we’re abnormal, but when we’re honest with each other we’re really very alike. Sadly, I’m far too tired to be eloquent.
Vanity got the better of me, as it so often does.